Who are girlfags & guydykes?

Put at it's most succinct:

Girlfags

girlfag, genderqueer
girlfag & genderqueer, by Max*

Girlfags are (more or less female identified) people who feel in one way or another like a gay man.
Most girlfags were assigned female at birth.

They are very often attracted to gay/bi/queer men and gay-male sexuality but are not limited to this and can be attracted to more types of people than just gay/bi/queer men. Many girlfags dream of being in a relationship with a man - as a man. Girlfags are often non-binary, they can identify as cisgender, cisgenderfluid, transgender or genderqueer. One way of understanding this identity can be that girlfags are sufficiently "in between" the categories of gay and straight, cis and trans* not to call themselves straight cis women or gay trans men, although for some (not all!) trans men the self-identification as girlfag can be a kind of "interstage".

Guydykes

guydyke, genderqueer
guydyke & genderqueer, by Max*

Guydykes are (more or less male identified) people who feel in one way or the another like a lesbian.
Most guydyes were assigned male at birth.

They are often attracted to lesbian/bi/queer women and lesbian sexuality but are not limited to this and can be attracted to more types of people than just lesbian/by/queer women. Many guydykes dream of being in a relationship with a woman - as a woman. Many guydykes are non-binary. They can identify as cisgender, cisgenderfluid, transgender or genderqueer. One way of understanding this identity is  that they are sufficiently "in between" not to call themselves straight cis men or lesbian trans* women - although the selfidentification as guydyke can be a kind of "interstage" for some lesbian trans* women.

 

What means being a girlfag or a guydyke?

girlfag
On girlfags.com you could find a quite simple answer to this question: 

"[A girlfag is] a woman who is very attracted to gay/bi men. She may (or may not) also feel she is (fully or partly) a "gay man in a woman's body". Girlfags may identify primarily as bi or straight or lesbian, and are often attracted to more types of people than just gay/bi men."
 
- and -

"A man who is very attracted to lesbian/bi women. He may (or may not) also feel he is (fully or partly) a "lesbian in a man's body". Guydykes may identify primarily as bi or straight or gay, and are often attracted to more types of people than just lesbian/bi women."
 
The description of the yahoo-group answered it this way:

"Girlfags are women who are very attracted to gay/bi men; females who identify with gay male culture. (...) Famous girlfags include Carol Queen, Jill Nagle, and Anne Rice. (...) Do you dream of "hot bi boys"? Do you fantasize about watching or playing with multiple gay/bi men (do you want to honestly arrange such situations: either polyamory or swinging)? Would you smile to see (watch) your boyfriend kiss another man (or much more), fostering your own lust and/or compersion? Or do you just want to know that they like guys that way too, just like you do (monogamy)? Some girlfags feel like a gay or bi man in a woman's body." (NOTE: girlfag is not "fag hag".)
debbie, qaf, faghag, girlfag

Although there are fag hags or fictional characters one can interpret as girlfag. Debbie from "Queer as Folk". ;)

Uli Meyer's article "Almost homosexual - Girlfags and trans*fags" draws the line as follows:


"This text is about those who were female assigned at birth but had "gay male feelings" some time in their lives. I don't want to include those (...) who see themselves definitely as straight women, who wish to have a straight relationship with gay men"
 
It's obvious that the focus has changed from the first definition to the last one by Uli Meyer. While in the beginning of the gfgd-"movement" the focus was more on the attraction to gay/bi/queer men and sexuality, it's now more important to talk about the self-view, feelings and the self-identity. More or less all gf that I met during the last years saw themselves - in one way or another - as gay men in a woman's body. The attraction to gay-male sex and queer men was very often recognized as a kind of "doing sexual orientation", a way to live the own identity. Others, like Janet Hardy for example, describe the identity as girlfag as
 
"the desire to be seen as a male in the eyes of a male lover" (source)

- which more likely will happen with gay/bi/queer partners than with heterosexuals. It's still an important part of being a girlfag to be attracted to gay/bi/queer men - but the recent critics from some members of the LGBT-community, that gfgd are fetishizing homosexuals, showed how problematic the original definition can be. It sounds as if being attracted to m/m-Sex is the "cause" of being a girlfag and not one of the symptoms. Being attracted to gay/bi/queer men and m/m-sex alone doesn't make a woman a girlfag.

There are plans in the gfgd-community to change the original definition so that it will fit today's needs and ideas:
 
According to this girlfags are (more or less female identified) people who feel in one way or another like a gay man. Most girlfags were assigned female at birth.
They are very often attracted to gay/bi/queer men and gay-male sexuality but are not limited to this and can be attracted to more types of people than just gay/bi/queer men. Many girlfags dream of being in a relationship with a man - as a man. Girlfags are often non-binary, they can identify as cisgender, cisgenderfluid, transgender or genderqueer. One way of understanding this identity can be that girlfags are sufficiently "in between" the categories of gay and straight, cis and trans* not to call themselves straight cis women or gay trans men, although for some (not all!) trans men the self-identification as girlfag can be a kind of "interstage". (Vice versa for guydykes, of course!)
 
I made this page for those who identify (more or less, but still) as women and who feel "gay-male", for those who are attracted to (romantically and sexually) to gay/bisexual men.
 
So it's not for women who "just"
  • think that gays are hot and who love to watch gay-porn
  • want to have a gay best friend - or who think it's a pity that their best friend is gay - because "gays are the better men".

For a girlfag it's not a pity that a man is into other men - it's a positive thing. They appreciate his queerness.